Heartbreaking. 
It’s the only word for it. 
It’s like, every morning I go on Twitter and my stomach hurts before I open it all the way because I’m afraid to see what’s happened in the world overnight. 
Was there more senseless killing? Is another child missing? Has some parent killed their child? Did a father lose his mind and kill his whole family before killing himself?
I woke up Sunday and Marcos asked me, “did you see? There’s been another shooting.” 

I just looked down, picked up my phone and clicked on the first link I found and began reading the horrific story of another 3 officers gone forever and 7 more critically injured. 
It brought instant tears to my eyes. 
This is not ok. 
Killing black men for no reason. 

Killing police officers. 

People abusing their authority. 

Men abusing & killing their families. 

Women torturing their own children. 
This will never be ok. 
None of it. 
But right now? Right now I’m focused on this hatred and this pull between black lives matter and the police. 
Who is winning?
The answer: No one. 
No one wins when people keep dying for no reason. 
And I get it. 
The 2% of officers that have that thing in their brain that makes them hateful and racist and makes them think they have the right to mistreat people…that’s the percentage of people in the Black Lives Matter movement that I believe will fight back with violence & murder & hatred.  
The problem I have with it all is that there are now more homes in America where dads will never be coming home again. There are more orphans who will never see their dads, never speak to them, never get to ask for advice, never get another hug, never have another game of catch, never see their dads at their graduations, weddings, the birth of their children, never have a chance to say, “I love you,” ever again. 
And that’s not ok. 
Haven’t we had enough of a fatherless generation because of divorce and men making babies that they don’t care for, don’t support and won’t raise? 
And now, we are perpetuating this problem with senseless killings and revenge killings. 
Hate, caused by hate, perpetuated by hate, growing into more hate = HATE  
My heart is made happy by the reports I’ve seen of police officers making a huge effort in their communities to bridge the gap and work together for peace and a sense of togetherness. 
I get it. There’s fear on both sides. 
But only love can conquer fear. 

Only love can conquer hate. 

Only love can help us not just listen, but actually hear and grasp and understand what others are saying. 

Only love can bring change. 
My prayers are full of asking God for just that: love. 
Let me love my neighbor. 

Let me love my enemy. 

Let me love the ones I don’t understand. 

Let me love the ones I understand. 

Let me love the way God loves and see others the way God does. 
Let me love enough to drown out the sounds & actions of hatred. 
Let me love enough to be an example to others that are afraid of change, that aren’t ready for change…let me love enough to soften their hearts. 
“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.
We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:17-21‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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