Last year was a year of sickness and death within my family. Drama within the church and change around every corner slapping me in the face day in and day out.
There came a time I was just over it. I mean, like, beyoooonnnnnd over it.
I was still trying to do everything.
None of it was done well.
Something had to give.
And somewhere in the midst of life, I made peace with that.
I wish I were Superman-er-woman…but I’m not.
And you know where I finally landed with that?
I’m beyond ok.
I’m exactly where I should be and when I focus on what God wants me to be in this place, I will be at peace.
My peace comes in the fact that I’m not in control and I don’t have to control. Heck, I’m not even supposed to be in control.
Life might still be crazy, I mean, it’s life, right? When ISN’T it crazy? Something is always coming that we can’t see, that we aren’t prepared for mentally and we get blind-sided. Sometimes it’s good, other times bad, and others just downright depressing and seemingly impossible to walk through.
But you and I, we’re still here,am I right? Can I just get churchy for a quick second and get a nice loud PRAISE HIM up in here???
I’m still here. I’m still standing. I’m still moving forward. I’m still in this amazing process of finding who I am in God and who he wants me to be in this season of life, and so are you!
I might not be where I thought I would be or where I planned to be…but maybe that’s not where he WANTED me to be. And every time I release my life (again-ya know, I’m stubborn. Sometimes it’s daily. Sometimes more. Sometimes not at all – oops! Whatevs, I’m human. I’m learning)I see this new, beautiful, amazing plan and path unfold in front of me.
I begin to find myself in places I never dreamed, interacting with people I never thought I possibly could and doing things so far beyond me when I try on my own and IT. IS. SO. GOOD.
I like control.
I like feeling like I’m handling business and making things happen. But as I look back over my life, I see times that things beyond my control took over my life and I would look around at this impossible mess and be scared beyond scared. And when I would throw my hands up in surrender and just keep doing the right thing and the right thing and the right thing with no idea of the outcome and how to make things right, they just became right.
A new right, sometimes.
Not the right I saw in my mind, but so much sweeter and better.
Nothing good ever came from comfort zones. (I stole that)
Because when we are comfortable, we don’t push ourselves. We don’t strive for anything greater. We don’t take risks. We don’t live in faith. We live in the known and the visible.
And THAT is the saddest place of all.
Change and growth and moving forward…it is all good. And it’s rewarding. and it’s happy and it’s hard and it’s sad and it’s painful, but it’s worth every painful step.
And wherever you are today, your ok, too, you know that?
Let go and you and I we aren’t just going to be ok. We already are.