my day was less than stellar. I was walking
through Bed Bath & Beyond with my babe and said, “I love that robe. I’ve ALWAYS wanted a robe like that.”
2 hours later he surprised me with an even better robe.
When I said I wanted to write, he bought me a blue tooth keyboard. It works amazing with my iPad.
When I said I was overwhelmed with working full time and doing cooking dinners, he volunteered to split the cooking with me.
When I was sick, he made sure I constantly had ginger ale and crackers and whatever else my little heart desired.
On Saturday I mentioned I was craving Dutch Bros and he pulled in without me asking.
He watched me struggle in the gym with my cord for my headphones…and even though I got blessed with some Beats, he still ordered me a pair of wireless headphones to surprise me – they still aren’t here and that’s a whole other story…apparently someone is walking them here from China, but it’s the thought that counts.
He saw me struggling with my flat iron comb that I had held onto for YEARS because I couldn’t find another one and went online and ordered me a fantastic one.
And it’s not every now and then.
He’s the most giving and loving and generous person I know.
He makes everyone feel loved and accepted and important.
But he makes me feel like his number one priority day in and day out.
I cannot out-love or out-give him…I’ve tried.
He will go without to make sure I and the kids have everything we need and want.
He is a man after God’s own heart.
He gets me.
He lets me be myself always and loves me just the way I am.
He wants to see me be the best version of myself always.
He wants me to be like Jesus, but still completely myself with my own personality.
He laughs at my dumb jokes.
He laughs at me.
He laughs with me.
I can tell him anything…and I do tell him everything. (This is a good place to say: Know that, unless you’ve told me not to, anything you share with me, I share with him, and vice-versa)
I love him and respect him and genuinely like him more today than the day I married him.
I still crush on him in that way that takes your breath away and gives you butterflies.
He’s gotten better with age and time.
We’ve worked hard at growing together, but at the same time our relationship doesn’t FEEL like work.
We have had rough patches, sure. Who hasn’t?
But the good far outweighs the bad.
I know he truly would lay down his life-literally-for me. Because in so many small ways he already does every day by putting me & the kids first.
I am so insanely proud of him and our marriage. Not in a way to brag on ourselves, but to brag on our God who took 2 very broken people from broken relationships and brought us together and wove our families together in the most amazing way.
We learned from our past mistakes and determined that THIS time, THIS marriage, THIS family was going to work…no other options…and so far, that commitment has worked! We take no credit, we are not perfect, but we’re committed!
Here are a few things that have just worked for us:
1.) we flirt.
-I feel like this is so, so, so important to any relationship. It doesn’t get stale. It doesn’t get old. It still feels fun…like at the beginning, but better because there’s that comfort and security that only comes with time…but it makes life so fun. You never know what’s gonna happen next.
One important note!!!! We DO NOT FLIRT with other people. We are friendly, we are nice, we are compassionate with others, but there are lines we don’t cross. As someone wise once said,
“Flirting is just cheating’s ugly cousin!”
And isn’t that the truth? There is nothing either of us would do to jeopardize our marriage. Nothing.
2.) we communicate
Sometimes we text all day long. Sometimes it’s just a few here and there to know that we’re thinking about each other. If we see something on Instagram that the other would like or find funny, we send it to each other
Sometimes we sit in our bedroom or family room and talk about deep, spiritual truths, struggles, victories, fears, life…and other times we talk about things that seem insignificant and silly, but we are always talking.
3.) we date
Trust me, you will be so much happier, your kids will thank you and probably your co-workers, too. When you feel confident on your connection to each other, you will be a better person.
Sometimes we go all out. Sometimes we go split a dessert. Sometimes we grab food and head to one of the waterfront areas. Sometimes we just have snacks and watch a show together on Netflix. The point is, we MAKE time to spend together. He is my priority. Even above the kids. One day they will leave the house and we will be left with each other and we have to still want to be together. Even now, they deserve a secure family unit and the knowledge that mom & dad love each other and aren’t going anywhere.
4.) we are best friends
There’s no one else I’d rather be with & spend time with. There’s no one that is funnier or smarter or knows me better. We are honest and truthful and playful and the best versions of ourselves when we are together. Make fun all you want that I want to spend all my spare time with him, it’s working and we are closer than ever. I think it’s weird when couples DON’T want to spend time together. (Hello, red flags!)
5.) we are committed and Christ-centered
Failure & divorce are not an option. Christ is the head of our home and we follow the teachings of the Bible when it comes to marriage. I trust him as the head of the house and he in turn gives of himself and lays down his desires for me. And that makes me WANT to do nice things for him and encourage him and support him in all of his goals & dreams. And that makes him want to do the same for me. It’s like the polar opposite of a vicious cycle. It’s a generosity cycle. And it’s a beautiful thing.
God has been so very good to us. And we are just living every day to honor God and one another. If I can be half the wife to him that I want to be and half as amazing to him as he is to me…I’m calling this life a success.