One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn to do as a parent, is say no…and stick to my no…though my kids would probably disagree…I’m sure they think I’m the master of saying no.
I’m working on it.
What they don’t always see and understand is the “why” behind the “no”
And they don’t have to.
Of course I care about their feelings, but I care more about their well-being in the long-run…and I trust that one day they will thank me for all of the NO’s they’ve heard along the way.
“No, you may not have that candy, you haven’t had any real food all day.”
“No, you cannot go to your friends house, I’ve never met their parents.”
“No, you may not go out with your friends unattended.”
“No, you are not allowed to watch movies/TV shows like that.”
“No, you may not play video games all day long.”
I try to explain to them the why’s behind the no’s, but I fear they don’t always hear or trust that I’m not trying to be mean, I can just see and understand things that they don’t.
A few years back, we finally gave in one Easter and allowed them to eat all the candy they wanted all day long…4 miserable little tummies later and when we allow that, they limit themselves. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way.
I will not give in when it comes to their safety and their futures. Those are investments we’ve worked to hard to keep guarded for them and boundaries will be there whether they like it or not.
The other day at work, someone asked me for something and I said no to him. He continued to ask and ask and ask until I told him, “Look, I have 4 kids, you can whine and ask all day long…you can stare at me until closing time…I know how to stand my ground and I will stare right back until you go away.”
We had a good laugh about it, but there was a truth to it.
Asking repeatedly for something you cannot have and that isn’t good for you will not change my mind.
It’s that way with God sometimes.
We go around misquoting scriptures about, “whatever we ask in HIS name, will be done.”
Whatever we ask within His WILL and are ready to handle-THAT is what will be done.
God always answers prayers.
We may not like the answer, but there always is one.
It’s one of 3 things:
Usually we only like option number one.
Who doesn’t like to get their way and to be told yes right away? It’s silly to sit around and pretend like we don’t care.
We wouldn’t ask for things that we didn’t care about.
We usually hate options 2 & 3.
No one likes to be told no. It’s human nature. We are selfish beings and we want our way. Now. RIGHT now…especially in this instant day and age we live in when we rarely have to be patient for anything. I mean, I’m the most guilty of all. Example? We have a Keurig coffee machine…and I get restless waiting for my cup of coffee. And it’s literally less than 30 seconds.
We really don’t like to be told no without a reason. Didn’t we all have this conversations with our parents?
“Can I__________(fill in the blank)?”
“Because I said no”
But now that I’m a parent I’ve said the same thing to all of my kids.
With God it’s a bit different of a conversation.
“Can I________(fill in the blank)?”
Trust is a hard thing when we aren’t getting our way.
When our family moved to Humboldt County, it wasn’t because we wanted to.
The last place I wanted to be was in Eureka.
I’ve lived the majority of my life in the Bay Area and I’m a city girl through and through. I love having the option of going to the store or the movie or out to eat at any time of the day or night. Always being close to some kind of entertainment. Being near my best friends and family and friends that are family. I wasn’t trying to go anywhere.
And doors in the Bay kept closing.
And doors in Eureka kept opening.
And life of disobedience was wearing very thin and extremely miserable.
I kept praying for God to make a way to stay in the bay.
And I kept getting the same answer,
“I already said No!”
When we finally broke down and decided that we would do what we knew what was right instead of what we wanted, God brought a peace into our hearts and softened them to the idea of being somewhere new in a crazy miraculous way.
Has it been easy?
Not even close.
Has it been worth it?
I would never trade the past 2 years for the world.
I have finally understood the scripture in Isaiah:
““I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” GOD ’s Decree. “For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.”
Isaiah 55:8-11 MSG
God is like the ultimate parent.
My kids can’t always see the consequences of the things they want to do RIGHT NOW…but they have to trust that I can and I have their best interests at heart.
And God definitely sees the whole picture that we can’t see. He knows what hurts right now, will bring forth the greatest result in the end. He sees when we aren’t ready for some things and when to tell us to wait…or when to just say no altogether. He sees things that are coming down the road that we have no idea are even an option.
He always has a plan. And He always has a way better plan for us than we could make for ourselves.
Thank God for all of it today.
For the yes’s that thrill us, for the no’s that hurt us and the wait’s that disappoint us (for now)
He has it all under control.
He has something far better for you than you have for yourself.